where does the pee come out of this thing
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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