Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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