a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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