Whod you bang
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
