I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
