Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
There's even glitter on my cock...
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