I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
