I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
