What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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