glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
