I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
