dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
You left your underwear on the fireplace
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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