google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
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