brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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