He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
