Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Randomize
