Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
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