The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Randomize
