Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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