We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
