just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Sacagawea was the original milf.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize