You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
