she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Houston, we have a squirter
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
