I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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