and next time when you feel me up, do it right
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
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