hell yes lets make some ravioli
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize