Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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