I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
ttyl tear gas
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
