That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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