yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
