So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
