it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
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