Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
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