I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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