remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize