Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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