I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
