i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
no. you can't hotbox the world.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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