Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
