If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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