as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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