im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
