Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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