she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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