he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
