Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
