At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
