oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize