Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
