Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
