great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
