What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize