You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
