If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
