The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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