Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
