Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
