No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
