I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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