I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
organizing the empties. That sober.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
