i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
