so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
