A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
