Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize
