Where did you get a picture of my penis
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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