I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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