tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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